Disclaimer
Please take a look at the bottom of this page for the author's disclaimer and note of caution.
Role of Society in one's life
Does the society have a role in the first place???
A couple of weeks back, an uncle of mine had a longish chat with me on this subject. At the outset, some background info:
-
This uncle is a smart, intelligent, mature, soft-spoken, caring, eminently lovable senior citizen. Therefore, it is very difficult to either dislike him or to say "Get lost", "Climb a tree and jump", "Take a walk off the cliff", etc.
-
However, by certain parameters, it is easy to perceive that he is rather orthodox and old fashioned. For instance,
Now, here, I've got some very serious objections to virtually all of the above views expressed by this uncle of mine.
Reasons:
-
A rose, called by any other name, smells as sweet. Merely being soft, nice, etc. does not give a person any right to "poke one's nose" into others' affairs. Had it been a less polite individual, I'd have been tempted to be downright rude
-
So-called "Norms of Society" changes from:
-
Century to century
-
Country to country
-
Religion to religion
-
State to state
-
Such being the situation, what's right according to one person, often, is far from acceptable to the other
-
Also, what's right or wrong is often driven by perspective, circumstance, overall situation, etc. After all, we're aware of what happened to the guy who said that we're not at the centre of the universe. We're also aware of famous statements by "Wise folks" that this entire planets possibly needs half-a-dozen computers. We're conscious of how Amitabh Bachchan was rejected on grounds of looks, voice, etc.
-
Look at some examples:
-
Wearing slippers to God's abode is quite OK in some religions, geographies, but not acceptable in other societies
-
Tuesday is considered auspicious by some, unlucky by others
-
Monogamy is appropriate in some places, "not-a-must" elsewhere
-
Being "fully clothed" with trousers, shirts, etc. is considered apt to enter a divine abode in certain places. The top half of the body needs to be "kept open" (Shirts not allowed, must at best have a towel or Angavastram) in certain other divine abodes.
-
Crossing your legs while sitting is "Arrogant / Impolite" in certain places, "Introverted / Self-conscious" in other places
-
Calling elders, bosses, etc. by their names is OK in some societies, taboo elsewhere
-
Differentiating based on gender, age, physical abilities, etc. is OK in some places, virtually illegal elsewhere.
-
Abortion is illegal in some places, perfectly acceptable elsewhere
-
Living together, same sex union, etc. are increasingly being accepted in different corners of the globe.
-
Asking an interviewee about his personal health condition, family details, etc. is OK in certain nations, illegal elsewhere
-
Scantily clad men and women enjoying a day in the beach is the norm in certain places, taboo elsewhere
-
Ahimsa is the "right way" in certain societies, "An eye for an eye" is considered an active deterrent in certain others
-
Capital Punishment is OK in certain nations, a "horrendous medieval practice" in other nations
-
And, believe me, I've not even scratched the surface with the above examples. If you spend a few minutes, you'll come up with a dozen examples off the cuff!
-
The fact of life is that we're living in a multi-cultural society, where tolerance is passe, and whole-hearted acceptance of people as they are is warranted. That's also the civilised thing to do. - Oh, here, I become judgemental! After all, who are we to judge what's wrong and what's not!
-
The moment we start pre-judging with a what could potentially turn out to be a perfectly jaundiced mind - though entirely unintentionally so.
-
To know the implications of pre-judging, just take a look at a couple of examples that I could think of:
-
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
If your answer is "Yes", you just killed Beethoven, the great musician
-
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.
-
Candidate A. Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologers. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
-
Candidate B He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon , used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
-
Candidate C He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.
Which of these candidates would be your choice?
Please think before you look at the names of the candidates ... ... ... ... ... ...
Candidate A: Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B: Winston Churchill
Candidate C: Adolph Hitler
My own take on the entire subject of society's role in our life:
-
We ought not to indulge in judgemental behaviour
-
Nor should we be unduly perturbed by judgemental behaviour among people we interact with.
-
I'm not suggesting that we can all follow this
-
I certainly don't, nor can I even claim that I even try all the time.
-
But I certainly do try a good chunk of the time.
Guess that I've given enough to think about for a while! Good luck with your introspection!
-
The role of society in one's life? I guess that it is restricted to:
-
Giving us the context, background info, intellectual inputs, "facts of the case", etc.
-
Laying down the law of the land so that the sweep of one's hand does not land on the other guy's nose
-
And that's that - Probably, nothing more, nothing less!
Regards,
N
Big Brother Watching!
One more reason not to take printouts - besides saving trees!!!
Regards,
N
Why people love to work for the TATA Group
Got this mail from a friend.
No wonder people love to work for the Tatas!
Enjoy reading:
What Ratan Tata did for the Mumbai victims.... a every Indian should know
Ratan Tata is the chairman of Indian Hotels who own the Taj Mahal Hotel Mumbai, which was the target of the terrorists last year .
Hotel President a 5 star property also belongs to Indian Hotels.
The following is really touching.
What Ratan Tata did for the Mumbai victims.... Don't miss!!!!!!
SALUTE TO
SHRI RATAN TATA
A. The Tata Gesture
1. All category of employees including those who had completed even 1 day as casuals were treated on duty during the time the hotel was closed.
2. Relief and assistance to all those who were injured and killed
3. The relief and assistance was extended to all those who died at the railway station, surroundings including the "Pav- Bha ji" vendor and the pan shop owners.
4. During the time the hotel was closed, the salaries were sent by money order.
5. A psychiatric cell was established in collaboration with Tata Institute of Social Sciences to counsel those who needed such help.
6. The thoughts and anxieties going on people's mind was constantly tracked and where needed psychological help provided.
7. Employee outreach centers were opened where all help, food, water, sanitation, first aid and counseling was provided. 1600 employees were covered by this facility.
8. Every employee was assigned to one mentor and it was that person's responsibility to act as a "single window" clearance for any help that the person required.
9. Ratan Tata personally visited the families of all the 80 employees who in some manner – either through injury or getting killed – were affected.
10. The dependents of the employees were flown from outside Mumbai to Mumbai and taken care off in terms of ensuring mental assurance and peace. They were all accommodated in Hotel President for 3 weeks.
11. Ratan Tata himself asked the families and dependents – as to what they wanted him to do.
12. In a record time of 20 days, a new trust was created by the Tatas for the purpose of relief of employees.
13. Whatg is unique is that even the other people, the railway employees, the police staff, the pedestrians who had nothing to do with Tatas were covered by compensation. Each one of them was provided subsistence allowance of Rs. 10K per month for all these people for 6 months.
14. A 4 year old granddaughter of a vendor got 4 bullets in her and only one was removed in the Government hospital. She was taken to Bombay hospital and several lacs were spent by the Tatas on her to fully recover her.
15. New hand carts were provided to several vendors who lost their carts.
16. Tata will take responsibility of life education of 46 children of the victims of the terror.
17. This was the most trying period in the life of the organisation. Senior managers including Ratan Tata were visiting funeral to funeral over the 3 days that were most horrible.
18. The settlement for every deceased member ranged from Rs. 36 to 85 lacs [One lakh rupees tranlates to approx 2200 US $ ] in addition to the following benefits:
a. Full last salary for life for the family and dependents;
b. Complete responsibility of education of children and dependents – anywhere in the world.
c. Full Medical facility for the whole family and dependents for rest of their life.
d. All loans and advances were waived off – irrespective of the amount.
e. Counselor for life for each person
B. Epilogue
1. How was such passion created among the employees? How and why did they behave the way they did?
2. The organisation is clear that it is not something that someone can take credit for. It is not some training and development that created such behaviour. If someone suggests that – everyone laughs
3. It has to do with the DNA of the organisation, with the way Tata culture exists and above all with the situation that prevailed that time. The organisation has always been telling that customers and guests are #1 priority
4. The hotel business was started by Jamshedji Tata when he was insulted in one of the British hotels and not allowed to stay there.
5. He created several institutions which later became icons of progress, culture and modernity. IISc is one such institute. He was told by the rulers that time that he can acquire land for IISc to the extent he could fence the same. He could afford fencing only 400 acres.
6. When the HR function hesitatingly made a very rich proposal to Ratan – he said – do you think we are doing enough?
7. The whole approach was that the organisation would spend several hundred crore in re-building the property – why not spend equally on the employees who gave their life?
I do not wish to dilute the message by adding my own comments or by disparaging the efforts of any other group (including the Government) by comparing one with the other.
Regards,
N
Wonder if I'll ever want to visit a restaurant again!!!
That's after taking a look at this slide show from Reader's Digest:
Of course, it appears to be focussed on a Western audience - to that extent our Indian experience may perhaps be slightly better!
Regards,
N
Perils of Modern-day Parenting
Came across this wonderful article on one aspect of the perils of over-indulging behaviour by our modern-day parents. Read on:
Some additional potential perils include:
-
Parents shower all kinds of material benefits to their kids (& to their parents) and simultaneously spare little or no personal time with either children or their own parents. Result - Kids learn this behaviour and don't spend time with the very same parents when they need their personal time and attention the most - in their twilight years
-
Parents inculcate "independent thinking behaviour", but expect kids to follow "conservative norms" when they grow up. Hardly feasible!
-
Parents pamper children of both genders equally. But expect
-
their daughters-in-law to be "traditional, subservient door-mats" at least to their sons, if not to them as well - Can't see how this is feasible.
-
their sons should get all the benefits of an old "MCP" world, without the corresponding duties & responsibilities that the men of yesteryears' MCP world used to shoulder!
-
their daughters should continue to be treated like the "princess" that she was
-
their sons-in-law should treat their daughters like a true "equal", and share in all the house-hold responsibilities equally, as things ought to prevail in a post-modern world
-
Parents practice zero-thrift in the eyes of the kids, but expect the kids to be thrifty
-
Parents shun physical exercises, diets, etc. like the very plague, and their refrigerators stock up all the fattening goodies that one can visualise, but never fail to sermon to their own kids on the importance of being trim
-
Parents want each and every kid to:
-
Come first in class
-
Be good in every sport that one can fathom
-
Be a musician par excellence
-
Be courteous and spend tons of time with all family relatives
-
Be a leader in class, school, college, et al
-
Be active in social service activities of every kind
-
If the kids are expected to be such "jack of all and master of all", they will certainly expect their own parents to be a combo of Abhishek Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Gandhi, Nandan Nilakeni, Aishwarya Rai, MS Subbalakshmi, Indra Nooyi and Mother Terasa, all rolled into one!
As a famous politician of yester years (Annadurai of Tamil Nadu) pointed out, all of us need to remember that when we point a finger at the other chap, more fingers are pointing towards us - automatically.
Beware!
N
Tamil Anthem
All of you who know and/or enjoy Tamil / AR Rahman, please listen to this song. Fans of Kalaignar, please avoid listening to this song.
Why do I say so? Merely because while the music is of a pretty good quality, I'm disappointed with the lyrics.
Kalaignar Karunanithi is so great when it comes to playing with words that I'm a huge fan of his Tamil, especially lyrics of songs written by him. However, for such an important purpose like the Tamil Anthem, he seems to have fallen short, at least in comparison to his own lofty standards.
Wonder why?
Regards,
N
Why I don't ask "Why Me" - Arthur Ashe
Philosophical stuff, but worth reading introspecting about!
Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player, was dying of AIDS. He contracted HIV during the blood transfusions he had received during a heart surgery in 1983. From all over the world, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease?" To this Arthur Ashe replied: "The world over, 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, and 2 make it to the finals. When I was holding a cup, I never asked GOD `Why me?' And today, in pain, I should not be asking GOD `Why me?`" ...
Regards,
N
